


the veil has been lifted

by serenascampbell



Category: The Fosters (TV 2013)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-28
Updated: 2014-08-28
Packaged: 2018-02-15 02:11:47
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,901
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2211870
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/serenascampbell/pseuds/serenascampbell
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is an adaptation of the episode of Virgil - not sure how long I'm going to make this because quite frankly it will end when I decide it's finished. Not quite sure I'm liking it so feedback is appreciated. Switches between Callie and Stef POV between chapters.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the veil has been lifted

“And she's in ICU so immediate family only. Ok?” The grey-haired doctor said, wringing his hands as he spoke which did nothing for anyone's nerves. “I can take you now.”

I zoned out for a moment after that, not even listening to what Lena was saying to us all, it wasn't like she was going to notice. It's not like I could go in, or at least as her foster daughter I felt I didn't have the right to go in. 

I heard Lena call my name but I insisted on waiting in the family room, I didn't want to interrupt that type of a moment. 

Sitting back down in the seat I had taken as my own, I watched Mike sit down in front of me and took a deep breath. All that I wanted to do was break down and cry so that I could worry about my mother like any normal kid would, but that was never going to happen. I was never a normal kid, and this was never a normal family – I didn't have the right to a 'normal' reaction. 

They weren't gone for more than ten minutes before the three kids walked back through the door and announced that we were headed home. I didn't want to think about going home, I didn't want to think about anything other than watching Stef come home completely fine. 

Perhaps the only good thing about the situation was that Jude wasn't home yet, being there for Mariana was going to be hard enough but dealing with Jude wasn't something that I really felt up to doing. 

The evening was easy enough, I had a bit of reassurance to do but Brandon was there to help out even though underneath the mask I could tell he was struggling the most out of all of us. Jude turned up in the middle of the night and that was stressful enough but all he wanted was to sleep, something that could be easily accommodated. 

I didn't sleep at all – I pretended to for my brother's sake but realistically I was too scared to even close my eyes. Keeping up an appearance, making sure that I never allowed myself to look weak – that was the one thing I had always been able to do without even thinking about it. 

Somehow this seemed different, I had to force myself not to cry, not to let the other know how I was feeling, not to put any pressure on any of them – it was like I didn't have control over it. 

Before now it had been easy because the only time I ever felt the need to get upset was over Jude and as a semi-parental figure I knew that I had to calm down and take control over the situation because there was no-one to fall back on. 

But when you hear that the person who you always fall back on is injured, it's harder because you feel like you can't fall apart even though it's your first instinct. 

“How're you feeling Callie?” Lena asked softly as she took a seat beside me in the hospital and I swallowed heavily, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat so I could reply. 

“Fine, really.” I answered briefly, giving her a small reassuring nod and watching her get up, waiting until she was out of earshot to mutter. “Only because I have to be.”

There were so many factors telling me that I simply couldn't get upset. For one – I had to be strong for Mariana and Jude, even Brandon and Jesus because they were struggling and I couldn't put that weight on Lena. Then there was the fact that she wasn't even really family so there was no proper reason for me to be upset. Finally there was the fact that getting upset wouldn't help anyone – me crying wouldn't help Stef recover, it wouldn't help Lena cope better, it certainly wouldn't help me come to terms with things any faster. 

Wyatt was there to support me through it but I wasn't willing to open up to him enough for him to really have any effect. But I was okay with that, it was entirely understandable – plus the fact that he thought I was infatuated with Brandon which was entirely untrue. 

A doctor came in to the room where we had practically been living for the last 48 hours and all of us rose immediately to greet him. It was the same man as yesterday, although yesterday he seemed to be of a much calmer disposition. 

“Ms. Foster has woken up, I'd say that you might overwhelm her but she's been asking to see you all continuously since she came around. Like I said yesterday though, immediate family only.” His words relieved us all and there were smiles all around, Mariana reached over and took a hold of my hand, squeezing tightly and grinning at me – all I did was grinned back.

“Come on Call', let's go see Mom.” Mariana exclaimed happily as the doctor spoke more quietly to Lena, I tugged my hand out of her grip and shook my head. 

“Like the doctor said, we can't overwhelm her. I'll wait until next time, it's fine.” There was a coolness to my tone as I knew that I could at least cast aside some of the worry eating away at my brain. 

“Callie, she wants to see all of us.” Lena spoke gently, as though she was willing me to want to go.

“I need to use the bathroom, tell her I said I'll be there next time though.” I answered quickly, making my way towards the door and across the hall. Lurking in there until I was sure they had all gone, I headed back to the waiting room to find Mike still sat there with worry on his face. 

“You should've gone with them you know.” Mike stated plainly as I took a seat beside him and breathed deeply. 

“So should you, you could've taken my place.” I responded, knowing full well that he couldn't go in there. Knowing that I wasn't supposed to have heard the conversation between him and their boss, I let it slide. 

Standing up to go outside, I went to sit on a bench relatively close to the door – just in case someone needed to find me for any reason. Maybe I should have a quick cry, I thought, just while there's no-one here to need me. Unsurprisingly, I decided against it in the end, I'd spent years building up a wall of strength against my emotions – one measly bullet wasn't going to change that. 

I sat there for what felt like an eternity, until I heard footsteps stop beside me and yank me out of my thoughts. 

“I know there's a reason you aren't going in there.” It was Lena, why wasn't she busy looking after kids or talking to her wife? “And I know you aren't going to tell me, but I wish you would.”

“You want to know the reason?” I asked timidly, looking up to meet her eyes. “If I go in and see her in a hospital bed, then I'll break. Thinking about it has got me close enough and I know what will happen the second I see her. I can't fall apart, I have to think about the people around me first – falling apart won't help anyone. Especially not me.” 

“Callie, it's okay to fall apart. You think I wanted to leave my 17-year-old son to look after my entire family because I was too busy having a breakdown?” She responded gently, reaching out a hand to rest it on my knee. “I understand that in the past you haven't been able to but here, you have a support system.” 

“And how long would that last Lena? You have 3 kids who have a valid reason to be having a meltdown, you have a wife who is going to need months of support and you'll be struggling to cope anyway. On top of all that are you realistically going to be wanting to deal with two more doting teenagers?” I kept my voice down even though the outburst seemed angry. “The only way that I am going to stay in your home is if I have a reason to be there. You love Jude, I truly believe that and you don't have the time to support him as well as everyone else – so I look after him, look after myself, do my best to look after everyone else and you won't send us to a group home.”

“Baby, you aren't getting sent to a group home – no matter what. You aren't here because you're useful, it's not like you have to earn your keep. You're our daughter and you have just as much right to fall apart as anybody else, she's the closest thing you've had to a mother in six years – of course you're going to fall apart.” Lena answered with a concerned tone, overturning her hand and allowing it to hang openly. “You're coming with me to see Stef, whether you want to or not. I'll hold you if you need to cry, I'll listen if you need to talk – maybe I won't be there as much as I feel I ought to be, but I will be there for you more than you expect me to.”

“You shouldn't have to, Lena. She's your wife, you have more right to be upset than any of us – you can't say it's wrong for me to try and support the people around me when that's exactly what you're doing. You're her family, it's you who needs the support.” I explained, looking down at her hand cautiously. 

“You're her family too. And for once, let yourself be the kid – like I said, you're coming whether you like it not Call'.” Reluctantly, I took a hold of her hand and stood up, shaking as I knew what was coming. 

I was coping alright until we got in to the actual room, I saw her name on the board and I could see the nurses racing around the room and all I wanted to do was run. 

“I can't do this.” I whispered, scared beyond belief and tried to tug against Lena's hold on my hand but she held it tight. 

“I'm here, Stef's here, you're going to be okay Callie.” Lena said softly, squeezing my hand reassuringly and continuing towards the curtain. Taking a deep breath, I tried to let go of my fears and just keep control of what was going on inside my own mind – if the others had survived, then surely it couldn't be all that bad. 

Lena walked through the curtain, tugging me by hand so that I followed her and before I caught a glimpse of Stef, I shut my eyes tightly with no intentions of opening them until I could leave. 

“Hey Callie, it's nice to finally see you. I was upset you didn't come in with the others.” Stef said, breathing heavily as she spoke and I already felt guilty. “Hey, open your eyes, come over here sweets.” 

Knowing that I couldn't dissapoint her, I complied and had to swallow with all of my strength to stop from crying or vomiting. Pursing my lips tightly, I tried to take in all the positive aspects – the fact that she looked almost normal was something but...she still didn't look like bubbly, always wide awake Stef. There was exhaustion in her eyes, and in her posture, even in the way she spoke. 

“I'm sorry, I was...never mind. How are you feeling?” I asked quietly, feeling that if I worked my vocal chords any harder they might break. 

“Better now that I know all of my babies are okay. Thank you for taking care of everybody last night, Brandon told me you were a big help.” There was a weak smile against Stef's lips that seemed to small to be genuine. 

“Least I could do, are you sore?” Trying to keep the focus off of myself was usually easy enough but Stef was persistent beyond belief. 

“I'll be less so if you give me a hug.” She croaked, opening her arms slightly to me. Carefully I leant in to them, putting as little pressure on her body as I could and I felt the lump in my throat rising to a point where I couldn't swallow it down, the tears were in my eyes already and I knew I had to get out of there. 

“I should probably get back to the others.” I spoke quickly, trying to mask my crying and pulling out of her arms to leave. 

“Turn right back around little lady, I already told you about this didn't I!” Lena was stood in the way of me walking out and I huffed loudly, looking deeply in to her eyes to show that I really needed to get out of there. “You're not leaving until you speak to us properly, no running off to the bathroom.”

“Sweets, come here. You know you can cry to us, who cares if I'm stuck in a hospital bed, doesn't mean I can't give you hugs.” Stef added in and I had to take a hold of Lena's arm to stop from falling over as a loud sob racked through my entire body. 

Lena pulled me in to her arms tightly and held me there while I cried, this wasn't supposed to happen. I was never supposed to show my weakness...not even to myself. 

“I'm sorry, I'll go – I'm fine.” I said as I continued to sob in to Lena's shoulder, knowing neither was going to let me. Lena moved the pair of us closer to the head of the bed and I pulled back, looking up at her with undoubtedly reddened eyes and smiled weakly. 

“You two need a minute or two alone, I'll be near the door so no making a run for it.” Lena finished softly, reaching over to squeeze Stef's hand softly before leaving. I turned around to face the blonde and gulped deeply. 

“How about you tell me what's going on in that beautiful mind of yours?” Stef took a hold of both of my hands and looked at me with worry that I tried to wish away. 

“I can't get upset about this. People need me – Jude, Mariana, Brandon, Lena, you will when you come home. Getting upset isn't going to help anyone – I'll be fine Stef, we just need to focus on getting you better.” There was candor in my voice, I truly did believe that was the first priority because in all seriousness it was. 

“No. They don't all rely on you, they can't. You all have to rely on one another, but you need to take sometime for yourself as well. Getting upset will help if it makes you feel better, that is a priority okay?” Stef spoke in a stern tone that made my bones grind. “Is there another reason you feel like you can't cry about this that you aren't telling us? I feel like there is.”

“Mom died six years ago tomorrow. I'm praying that in all of the drama, Jude will forget because I can't deal with that as well. That can go to the back of my mind and I don't have to think about it...as long as he doesn't either.” I answered, regretting the words as soon as they come out of my mouth. It was so wrong of me to put stress on Stef when she was in such a vulnerable state. 

“I can feel your brain working, stop overthinking things! I'm okay, I promise – please talk to us about this type of thing. Everybody knows how you love to bottle things up and you can't any more, your plate is well and truly overflowing.” Stef squeezed my hands as she spoke and I gnawed at my lower lip awkwardly. “Maybe I can't be here for you as much as I'd like, but between the both of us – me and Lena have it covered. And you can always talk to Brandon and the twins – they want to be there for you just as much as you want to be there for them.”

“Thank you so much, I'll try harder. I promise, just as long as you promise to focus on getting better. I also told Mari that we were going to have a girly day with icecream to take our minds off of it for a while.” Over the past few days, me and Marianna had become a lot closer – our relationship had evolved a lot since we had been forced to share a room. 

“Okay sweets, talk to Lena, talk to Mari, talk to me – just don't hide it from us...okay?” She looked at me closely like she was searching for lies in my face and I gave her a small curt nod. “I love you Callie.”

She pulled me in to a tight hug and I was worried that I was hurting her but when I felt her tug harder I relaxed in to her a little, revelling in the feeling of being back in her arms. 

“I love you too Mom.” I departed quickly, not looking back as I went to find Lena.


End file.
